anil gupta's blog

have seen life slipping away
like a sip
of the cup which was not going to stay
i took my tea and could hardly say
is this what we have learned
to be the middle way

Buddha is not my ideal nor sri rama
i am not worried
about what people will say
i want to be with my mother
and wish her a long life
even if it means
some more
moments, from my friends, will go away

after all, what is that which matters
when leaves are shed
and spring i sfar away
you just become quiet
and let memories  hold
a queer sway

kaali have you smelled the aroma of lost smiles

do you know

whether any one has ever offered you

the bouquet of beliefs

unqualified and undistilled

in your ability to forgive

the encroachers in your garden

have you seen how

the devotees ignore such a bhakta

yet he does not give up

why does he persist with his  prayers

so that you may get time to erase

the pains of every one else

and leave all undistributed curses

in his hands to rever  resolutely

that is the answer of his search

the lone bird will not need any perch

it will sit over a broken tree

that will take a few months to dry

time enough

for an illusion to persist

will u leave the imprints of your anger again

on the carpet of caresses that i had spread

for you to take rest

and leave all the angst

but you have decided to balance

all the actions full of desires

with reactions full of unlimited fires

may be this way, the world will believe

how gracious you are

when ash of my burnt bones
will fly with the winds

and engulf the roots of all the drying saplings

in your garden of  kindness

my tears will irrigate them

and without asking a single question

quietly fade away

leaving no trace

lest you ask

did  i find your test too hard

no, i will not give up

and i will not seek your mercy again,
why else will u choose me

to suffer , so as to be

the only one,

a void filled steps of your temple

so that others can climb and reach you

without hurting their feet

Kali tum phir na mujhey kshama karna

jalney dena

glani ki agni mein,

yuhin jyun tadapta hai, koi mrig bina jal registan mein

aur mrigtrishan ka vardaan dekar, mujhey

saza dena

kya pata, is tap se tumhara man bhar jaayey

koi pathar raam ke sparsh se shabri ban jaayey

lekin meri is jeevan mein bas ek hi abhilasha hai

tumhara krodh mujhey hi miley sabse jayada

main kahun garv se,

mujhsey hi nibhaya tumney ek vada

jab bhi kabhi kisee par gusssa aaya

tumney mujhey sotey se jagaya

aur kaha, utho, ab phir se tapney ka waqt aaya

jo bhi kamaya tha aaj tak,  usko kaudi ka  daam lagaya

mein bhi socha, shayad jab khali ho jaun

tumharey sneha se phir bhar paun

a wanderer, a dried leaf, or a hair that
dropped off when u combed ur hairs yesterday

i tried to catch it and ran after it

but then winds were strong

i am still chasing those hairs
which may have nurtuRed  some buds
in the earth
that i had tilled so hard

but could not sow any seeds
lest the trees insist

that i take rest under
these

rest under it

---------old poem , 2000

why does the sound of flute not agitate the radha any more
asked krishna
to the trees, rivers and the mountains
he wandered, stopped tilling the land,
sowing the seeds
talking to people,
looking at even in the mirror
told radha, go,
and look at in the mirror of soul
find out
why flute does not resonate the same way
find out why the yearning
do not seem so earnest
find out when did you clean the mirror last
krishna became silent
he did not want to find out out
he did not want to listen
he just stood still
and let the breeze blow

Gandhi tum kaise ho

kabhi bhi mil jaatey ho

yahan, wahan aur sab jagah

kuchh kehtey ho, kuchh sehtey ho

khamoshi ke saath

jaaney kyun itna rehtey ho

gaadnhi tum kaise ho

lagta hai, heerey ki mafik

18 carat soney me bandhney ko badhya

tumharey vichar ,

mery 10-12 carat ke hathon mei

ab kaisey reh payengey

tum phir bhi yahi kehtey ho

ki gandhi sulabh hai,

gandhi sahaj hai

gadnhi saral hai

meri kamjorion se

mujhey koi shikayat nahin

tumney bhi to unko bandhanwar ki tarah

aponey dwar par latkaya tha

meri abilashao ko

apnaya tha

gandhi tum sach mein

bilkul vaise ho

jaisa mainey khamoshi ke antraal mein

tumko paya tha

may not even hear
when you return
to knock
at the closed door
locked by the
lies
i told to myself
but when truth was spoken
did the wind take the sounds
its eloquence even to the
grove besides my house
where you rested
quietly
like a squirrel
perched on the tree
in rain

i could  smell the aroma
of an unripened garden
that you did not care to erase or uproot
when you left that valley
unguarded and uncared
now that i have seen it
i will go back
to the peaks which might still be unassailed
but for how long