Month: June 2006

do not tell me that u want me
to come along
you gave all the blessings
for filling my boat
with smiles, and substances that
you yourself never got
today when i hesitated
and let you take the next step
you again blessed me and asked me
to be happy and just be,
now that when i go
and go happily
you fill tears in your eyes
and make me feel sad
and suddenly realzing
that it will make me sad,
u smile, laugh and tell me
go and relish the new world
u gave me
because when i turned towards this way
you were hesitating, tied to
old annchors
faithfully filling your duty
twoards the waves that took off’
when you threw stones
in the river
as if to just count
the ripples
each pregnant with smiles
that you wish to see in the sky
and i wore blues
to tell you
that i want you to be happy too
though you will bless me and
not know, how to turn away your eyes
when u make me sad

deeper waters and still air
why will the
boat not remain static
but then it does not,
it leaves one shore and does not reach another
till some waves forgetting their inner resolve
try to quiver and clear the way
i face a ridle
which i can not resolve
you ask me why, and i just smile
with tears in my eye

for a while

why will u worry
when i kneel before you
and you push me away
telling me about the wind
and the clouds
that have to shower their blessings
on a place where the  banks of a river do not meet
i must remain here
waiting for your attention
and you must focus O kali
on the fairy tales
that tide of a sea are telling
how brutality of yours has been beatified
why should u let me bow and be close to your bosom
the beats may tell
all the wavering you go through
when u maintain the facade of your indifference

even though

i passed by your temple every day

did we meet at all

you weighed the offerings

the earrings, the necklace, the braclets and the kind

you were covered with garlands that devotees brought

may be, the aroma of those flowers

had soothed your nerves

so much

that a few crumpled leave i offered

did not make you open your eyes;

stay asleep

who knows some day when all flowers have dried

and when leaves have been assimalted

by the ants underneath your feet

you will remember

the feeble sounds of the bells

i rang

when i left your temple empty handed

 

 when did you forget

taking revenge from all those

who defied you

and yet were your devotees;

is it because of that

 

do u not understand

why i seek your

gaze

exclusively

i know you will have scorn

and some time even

scary indifference

but then at least you will be possesed

about me

so do i hope

nay, pray

black from outside
you have golden sparks of fire inside
when you need to be dismissive
u find things more important
than paying attention to
devotees
who lie at your feet
praying for the caresses of your blessings
why do you miss them then
are u really worried about the
light that you need to absorb
through a black coat of
a wanten night
splashed all over the lake
in which you can not dive

why should  you
frown and be dejected
at seeing my spirit still roaring high
like a wave untamed
i do not need to be terrified by your brutality, O Kali
i can understand why
you have to be so ruthless
because
that is the only way
you can deal with your
inner turmoil
but i will not make things easy for you
i will splash cold water over your eyes
i willa also not bend my eyes down
lest you feel
even more angry
i will look through your fierce looking eyes
and wait to be decimated
do not just become kind, Kali

kali is kind
but higher kindness
is a cut above all the cruelty
she loves you so  intensly
only to let you realize
that love must be subtle
she is just
but lets you do injustice
to those u love
the fire of guilt
and the rain of reflection
alternate in her lap
you choose to burn
in one
or relax in other
either way
you are dismissed
eventually

did i know
why your violent anger
did not hurt me so much
as your kindness
perhaps the soul
needs to be simmered
not solaced
O Kali, you are in perpetual anger
have you lost all that you loved
or is it
that you never could love
never

do not wait for autumn, leaves have fallen already

why are you upset

the silly reasons of heart

have no say in the changing seasons

just wait,

and ask

if it was a drought

will your thirst for few drops

of nectar hav been quenched

why not then soak yourself in the rain

who knows, when will sky become stingy