anil gupta's blog

tumney poochha kyun itna dard apney dil mein basata hun

kaisey bataun

kis kis ki yadon ko dil se lagata hun

kuchh hain jinhoney muh mod liya

aur kuchh hain jinhoney

itna sneha diya

ki main karjey mein doob gaya

ab intzaar mein hun

kab meri jail se chhutti ho jayey\

atma vileen ho jayey

aur mein swantara seemaon se parey vicharu

lekin phir dhyan aata hain tumhara

kaun tumharey ghuteny par tel lagayega

aur kaun tumhari chauton ko sehlayagega

aur phir main apni hi jail mein

tala lagata hun

aur chabi door phainkeney ke hidayat dekar

chaukidaar ko fuslata hun

you were not happy because

you could not achieve what you wanted

you may blam e me

because i loked at all the plants on teh way

whcih we had considred weeds

and i also smelled all the fragrances \

which were seen

as diversion

but how i tell you

that it made me become vulnerable

without which

my ego will not be tamed

so let me wander

and seek some moments

with those who want this place to

be different

and some who have dreams in their eyes

may be then i can help you

a bit better,

fulfill

yours

i see so many popel making you

irrelevant

by revriing you so much

that you beocme inaccessible

i wish you had indulged in things which

will help you beceme weak

vulnerable

and thus accessible

may be you did

and masked that face

may be not

but it does not matter so long as your haughtiness

is what makes you so lovable

jangal mein ghar bananey ka khyal
to kai baar merey man mein bhi aaya hai
lekjin haar bar
apna janglipan
jangal ke niyamo ke layak
nahin man paya
laga bahut kuchh seekh gaya hun,
shaharon mein rah kar
jahan yadon ko deewaron par to taang saktey hai
par unka jangal nahin uga saktey

ab mein apni yadon ke beej lekar nikal pada hun
kahin padti jamin mein hi sahi,
bo aunga
tum bhi dhyan dena
agar ho sakaey to do boond paani daal
dena
waisey mere paas aansu to bahut hain
lekin jab bhi mainey yadon ko unse seencha hai
wo kuchh bad kar phir murjha si jaati hain, lagta hai
khara pan unhey raas nahin aata
ab main ansuaon ko meetha kaisey banaun

har roj ek kavita likhney ka wayada kiya tha,
ab nibhatey nibhatey aadat si ho gayi hai, saath
wo chalti hi kaha hai
koi rubai
koi gazal
ya phir koi muktak
sabhi to apni apni dishaon mein ugatey hai
kisko samjhaun
ek hi bagiya mein khilney ke liyey
koi nahin manta
mainey kab kisee ki baat mani hai
hamesha kaha, dard hi sach hai,
baaki sab kuchh bemani hai

you may not know

whether you could call

any time,.

but then you did and found,

the same readiness to engage with life

which had created the doubt in the first place

now, blame it on the smiles that i have always carried

with me to mask

my inner pains

or on my willingness to walk

a few extra steps whenever

some body seems to carry my burdens a bit afar

but then i am not willing to be drenched

in rain of sufficiency again

a traveler in desert does

not learn to quench his thirst too often

suddenly the rainbow vanished

sky brightened

and clouds were hesitant

moist breeze indicated that it might rain

but it did not

strong breeze carried clouds away

and the shadows also disappeared,

i could now walk

lekin sach mein kaha jayey
to chot kabhi koi doosara nahin pahunchata,
wo to ham swayama hi apney aap ko pahuchanetey hai

dil ko lagatey hai
aur phir saara hisaab kitaab seemaon ka bhool jaatey hain
aur jab wahi seemayen aadey aati hai
to phir chot laganey ka ilzaam
un par lagatey hai

whenever i wrote a poem, u asked me, was it for you
and i did not know what to say,
was it for only you
and i said mostly
but the truth is poem can never be only for one person, no matter what we think
how hard we try
it looses its target
once it starts acquiring meanings beyond
that moment when it is triggered almost always
by a single
memory