my Courtyard Of conscience

I am a witness to your grace

But having lost my eyesight,

I can describe the smell, feel, and the spirit

Of how you entered my

Courtyard Of conscience

and dug up all the flower beds which were

lying untilled

full of ‘weed, thorny bushes and the cactii’

and then it rained,

u let the water soak the dry soil,

embrace it as if it had not been cared and tended

for centuries

sowed the seeds of expectations

all the while denying that

it was your purpose

why not, after all, only through these expectations

we rise in each others’ calling

but you have

already disarmed me,

taken all the reasons from me to thank you,

your mercies are beyond count

but your reprimands are my treasures

for, I am trying to be their

exclusive inheritor

May 25, 2004 ny 9.52 ist

2:

take all or none, she said

I was not sure, if I had a bag,

big enough

With me,

to contain all what she offered,

But then she would not tailor her gift

To the size of my

Bag

What will I do,

Collect more bags, or deny her gift

Or ask her to pour it

slowly and slowly

So that I absorb it in

The folds of my soul

Having aseeemit ( infinite) space

But will she have patience