Author: anilg

detours of desires

are not the pathways

on which one ever finds

peace that beguiles

and luls one to assume

that the end is near,

the fire is now determined

to consume all the leftover memories

that were the seeds

of my poems

delete them,

lest they envelop the air

which we breathe

and so may emerge

a being that is absobed

completely by the passion

of perseverence in vain

why do you display

all your trophies of vanquished souls

and some memories

that you dismiss by your loud calls

for not bearing with

the audacity of devotees

who come every day

even if you refuse to let them pray

in your temple and under your grace

how have you become so brute and

have still a glowing face

you blessed me with your grace

when i was lying on road

with an entangled lace

small, slow and subtle

was your smile

but it took me a long while

to understand why

that day, my fall did not concern you

though  you just smiled and

did not abandon me

i now understadn

why you make me suffer

you can not let a weak soul be

worthy of your anger

and hate

why do i write about pain

why

what makes the roads i have walked on for so long

suddenly sparkle and glow

stars in your eyes

light up

when sky is dark

but you walk on the milky way

as if scattering smiles

from over there,

uncaring, unconcerned

yet involved every day

in keeping track of my pain,

as if it gives you an umbrella in rain

27 

  

When did I say, I am not fallible

But you bestowed honours 

And bound me by the vows 

That I could not keep 

I am as devoted to you today as 

I ever was, O Kali 

I still do not know 

Why I can not erase the marks of kindness 

Of those who nurtured me so 

That your anger can devour me 

As if fattening a goat before sacrifice 

When devotees have withered away


From your courtyard


Some after waiting to be blessed by you


Some getting their prayers answered


By even your denial,


But is denial by you not a kind of


Affirmation,


What do you feel


When clouds feel shy of the


Reflections they see


In the lakes around the


Meadows


Clear and yet confused


Why should reflections be not as serene


As the thoughts


Are you saying that


We have right only to think,


Not feel or do enough


Lest thoughts strike chords


In your heart


And u cannot deny


Any more


Wishes of your ardent devotees

	

or leave me on the threshold
of a tired evening
when you were in a rush to leave
and i was just getting ready to
open the window
so that you could see the moon
ascending on the horizon
withot any burden of  memories
or for that matter
the meanings
that need explanation

do not tell me that u want me
to come along
you gave all the blessings
for filling my boat
with smiles, and substances that
you yourself never got
today when i hesitated
and let you take the next step
you again blessed me and asked me
to be happy and just be,
now that when i go
and go happily
you fill tears in your eyes
and make me feel sad
and suddenly realzing
that it will make me sad,
u smile, laugh and tell me
go and relish the new world
u gave me
because when i turned towards this way
you were hesitating, tied to
old annchors
faithfully filling your duty
twoards the waves that took off’
when you threw stones
in the river
as if to just count
the ripples
each pregnant with smiles
that you wish to see in the sky
and i wore blues
to tell you
that i want you to be happy too
though you will bless me and
not know, how to turn away your eyes
when u make me sad

deeper waters and still air
why will the
boat not remain static
but then it does not,
it leaves one shore and does not reach another
till some waves forgetting their inner resolve
try to quiver and clear the way
i face a ridle
which i can not resolve
you ask me why, and i just smile
with tears in my eye

for a while

why will u worry
when i kneel before you
and you push me away
telling me about the wind
and the clouds
that have to shower their blessings
on a place where the  banks of a river do not meet
i must remain here
waiting for your attention
and you must focus O kali
on the fairy tales
that tide of a sea are telling
how brutality of yours has been beatified
why should u let me bow and be close to your bosom
the beats may tell
all the wavering you go through
when u maintain the facade of your indifference