anil gupta's blog

on the threshold
i waited with berated breath
will the wave swallow the pride
of the sand
on the
shore
but then
it just collected a little bit of sand,
and went back in the arms of the sea
always in wait
always
in haste

whenever i try to escape
your grace
Maa Kali
you endow me with
even more trust and love

and then being dependent on them
i become helpless
unable to shrug the burden
of benign attention
hesitant journey becomes longer
steps falter
and the tears swallow the smiles
that i had brought to offer
at the steps of your temple

deafening sounds,
insistent breeze,
echo less mountains,
whither flow the tears

—–

drought of desires,
rain of reflections,
silent rocks,
and
reverberations of inaction

silence was deceptive,
roars of wounded tiger was all
i could hear,
no matter what i offered,
she remained unsettled,
now, may she devour me,
so that i could hear the sounds inside,

when i err
u forgive
when i stir a branch
you deliver all the ripened fruits
but withe them
some leaves too fall
and not knowing whether to take them away
or leave them to decompose
breeze remains unsettled
in a dilemma
and i start collecting them
to offer them at your altar

No matter by what name I call you
You still adore the steps I walk
Why do you forgive
The possessive devotees
Who will not let wayward
Opportunistic and sometimes indifferent
Devotees
To sweep those steps
May be that’s the way
You be what you are

When the rays reflect no more
Though The mirror still is very pure
The images betray the trust
But the journey wl continue, for sure
I have to surrender all desires
If only, maa kali, to assure

—-

when i err
u forgive
when i stir a branch
you deliver all the ripened fruits
but withe them
some leaves too fall
and not knowing whether to take them away
or leave them to decompose
breeze remains unsettled
in a dilemma
and i start collecting them
to offer them at your altar

A sprouted stone
Unspoken words
Meditative depression
Flow with the wind
Are you testing me, maa kaali?

Grooves of pain
Long walks through the forest
What did I forget
That you took so long to accept
My offering ?

why did i lose my way
last night
while gathering fallen flowers
under a jasmine bush
was i taken in by the aroma
that refreshed me in the past
or was i beguiled
by the beauty of vanishing vapors
from a cauldron of creativity
was it the desire to escape the boundaries
of beholden beliefs
or a quest of unaccessed secrets
of a deep valley of volitions

why should we explore the ground
Maa Kaali
which you decided to consign
to the care of
some snakes and tortoise
who knows
why would they let
some flies come close
some lilies to flower
and some lilies to suppose
the fear of reaching out to unknown meadows
slipping on the moist grass
to fathom the smell of soil
why should we breathe so fast
when the journey is so long
and there is nothing special in reaching early
maa Kaali
will you forgive
all incursions
into the forbidden space
if only to explore the boundaries
of whatever
you claimed
with my voice maimed