anil gupta's blog

Why did I lose you
In the jungle I planted
Random sown seeds

In tandem your steps
Dancing lilies

You explored the space below the roots
But the nest was not too far above

Green were shoots
Why did I lose you
As if you care two hoots

It was not clear
If the vermillion was the colour of that day
I chose shades of yellow
Hoping the blood
Oozing from old scars would
Do the rest

Don’t see
The solitary spot
It’s just the moment
When
Your yearning
And my turning
Created the moment

But it passed
Quietly
But not idly

hold me, before i disintegrate,
said that little voice
but the weave of the shawl
is stronger
it will not be swayed
by the strong wind
and heavy rain
stay there
calm
quiet
despite
the storm inside

why should i
not just dissolve
all the knots
that remained
unresolved so far
dont tie me
into more now

did i complain ever
for your saying no
but i also did not relent in my pursuit
of affirmation,
even if assertively
and obstainetly
the rock refised to give way
to the stream of tears
that were draining
a lake of my own creation
i-n-s-i-d-e
deep
inside

the cave of curious
but concerned desires

dont ask
i will have a good reason
not to answer
but then why should we ask at all
why can’t we understand
can not silence be our code language

think
thought
threadbare

last night
i was soaked sufficiently
in the shower of your grace
wet, but dry inside
was hoping to be punctured
by your pungency
oozing from every pore,
the molten lawa paved the path
on which i wanted you to walk
to reach
wherever you wanted
now or in future

i am not sure
clarity always counts
sometimes
fuzziness helps
it masks our
hesitation
paints our intention
with piety
and purposelessness
is it necessary to be clear