anil gupta's blog

 i am the explanation
said the sparrow
and went on with her search
for a nest full of comfort
that can not be guaranteed
but prayed for,
that can be designed but not delivered
after all
rim of  an old cart
are rusted
when the cart stays still
make it run
so what if you forget when to stop
where to stop

dec 06

when you could not hold the balance

and the twist in the gate

took its toll

you fell

to

get up again,

litle hurt

that i was not around

to take care

of you

but hurt is not your alone, it hurts me no less

the difference is

you can say it and i can not

we can not rely on those who

we took to be our part

and we can not be together all the times

what do we do then

stay close in spirit

and pray

like little toddlers

we laugh about such falls

and reprimand the ground

as we did when we

were kids

and when our children were little ones,

more innocent

less responsible and

closer

your silence is your tool

you complain when things happen

but do not warn in time always

when you do, you see results

the roads are diverted

rivers are tamed and

the winds change their direction,

why do you not then complain more,

it is true that not every complaint may lead to exact

and equivalent action

but you too will not wish that

after all, where from would you get the  energy to fight

and declare new boundaries,

new rules and new language

i saw the beams of the temple, still intact after centuries

so many quakes came and destroyed the buildings but this temple still stands

why do some people design structure to survive

centuries

why do some people see that long

why is yearning for life lead them to aim so distant a dream

why

when two rivers like the bosoms of a mother flow

and feed the new born children

nothing more remains to be said about the moment,

tenderness or art or a divided self and its heart

but then mother has not been fed for long

she is feeling guilty that the kids are not fed properly

she wishes that her breast sbe cut and she be denuded of the source

but then who will do that, every body looks around

we decide to damn the river but do not nurture the source

she cries and the kids become silent

they have learned to be silent when

mother cries

you have a garden on the roof

every time i climb the stairs i smell the aroma

i some times just stop and stare out fo windows

i do not see any other garden in the region

why are there no gardens around

have all bees collaborated to pollinate flowers

this season, will they claim the nectar  also

does every pollinator get nectar

i do not know if that is true, will that be a sweet smooth bargain

but i am not climbing steps

for any bargain

i am coming because i know

i can be asked to go back

because some one else is tending the garden then

liek an egg plant, you  may roast a relationship

and some cracks may appear on the surface

but as long as inner core is soft and pliable,

why not keep working on it

when the doorbell rang,, i did  do not know

should i open the door

or let him wait

i asked him to return

because i did not have any space

in my inn

lot of travellers had already occupied every corner there

but this traveller was insistent

he will not go away

if only he coudl sit in a corner

it was very cold outside

and warmth of the inn

at this hour

was the only way, he could wait for the morning

i let him in and then saw

he was not able to sit too long

tired and fatigued, he slept away, resting his head

on the wall

which now had some cracks

kuchh galatiyan hamse gar yun hi hoti raheyn

shikayateyn ko shayad phir waqt hi na miley

manjiley na miley, rastey na kateyn

lekin asmaan se kuchh tarey girtey rahen

koi manaey unhey apshakun, koi dekhey unmey ummeed

ham bekhabar ho unki kismat ko likhatey rahen

tum azaad ho, ham hai gulam, lekin khamoshiyan ki juban sunatey rahey

kisee ko na ho gam, duban apni kishti, lehron ki bhukh ham bas yuhin mitatety rahey

resort was crowded
because all holiday makers
descended here
and found fire
but no fire flies
ire of those
who came late and
complained, there was
no friendship here, no allies

i am now sitting quiet,

waiting for the crowd to thin
and may be then
there will be vapour in the crucible
placed on the fire
with a few tears saved from yesterday night
when i met her
alone and devoid of all stinging
nettles
she often tied in her hairs

‘2004