anil gupta's blog

why do i keep awake,

when the world sleeps peacefully

what is the anxiety

what is the worry

whose pain is central to the being

and whose vulnerabilities are calling for change

in our ways of knowing, feeling and doing

has the mix gone wrong

or have i lost my way

a drop of rain fell in an ocean

unable to persuade any wave

to change its course

it just stayed still

and then slowly sun rose

and carried it away

from the swollen arms of the ocean

to the sky

why do u cry

when the garden of curses blooms

my friends do not know what i sowed

and what will i harvest now

but then soon, it will rain

and new growth of seeds

of smiles scattered all over

will flourish

may be the crevices of life

in which curses grew

may heal, by then

annihilating the surface
on which scratches
stay
like stains of love
i ask,
if this is what one seeks
dissolution when
precipation will do
and siltation
when floating on the surface will woe
the waves
that are undecided
whther to be burried on the shore
or remain at the core
of the deep
enigmatic sea

nayaya nahin par ho paya

kanton ko dil se bahut lagaya

ummeedon ka baag ugaya

phir bhi man to soona paya

nyaya nahin par ho paya

jo bhi mila sneha ka poorak

jisney bhi tha ashrya paya

pedon ney hi need sukhaya

amarbel ko mila swapno ka saya

nayay nahin par ho paya

socha bantu dard sabhi ka

chain nahin par de paya

jo bhi kiya raha adhoora

darad ka marham ruh kp lagaya

nayaya nahin par ho paya

have been gathering

pebbles thrown at me

for being uncaring, unmindful

and indifferent

now my bag has still some space

pl throw at me more such pebbles

who knows

some might break my impervious layer

and some just leave their imprints

on the bare

heart and soul

squeezed of all care

 

why do i promise myself

stars knit in a shawl

that will not ever crawl

over your eyes

or shoulders

will not even cover your head

on a rainy day

but then with my hand in your hand

i do not even care

if the footrpints will remain

on sand

fragile

unsure

to run away with the wind

or

embrace the shore

denuded by waves

that has  now been abandoned,

 silted edges

empty gazes

donot ask me

who lent me the smiles

that beguiles the innocent

and trap the kind

when i decided to melt that night
you were asking me, is this the path
you want to walk on
i did not asnwer
i just kept walking
on and on
like a gale of wind
unmindful of the rocks it had to deal with
caressing all the waves
in the sea of silence
it mobilised to show its strength,
but the waves also got exhausted
after a while
and the rocks withered away
but the gale still stays still,
without the oars
of your arms

have you seen a barked tree

before it dries up, pl hold it in your arms

nourish it

and who knows

it may regrow the bark,

the mask may appear again
between its inner pain and outer joy

i have to smile regardless

whether suferings inside revolt

but then maintaining the mood of the world around

hinges on my ability to mask

the pain

so that you could all gain,

peace and joy

what if, the light of sun decides

to bake

all the incompletely abandoned dreams

in a paste with

which i can pave the way

for you to walk

and not get lost

when all the new roads appear so nice,

quiet and comfortable

what if, a bit sad