anil gupta's blog

You will soak me in

Like a sponge

Absorb my pains

And swipe clean all the wrinkles

From my forehead,

When will you

Stop asking the reasons for all the spots

On my scarf

Of the sweat, soil and some drops

That splashed from the ground

When I could not hold

The rain of your love in my hands

the storms did not wait, nor did you
but then a wave has quietly receded into the sea
leaving some traces behind
i am asked, if i will come again
sing again
dance again
and i, feeling a bit shy,
keep quiet
let the breeze answer
for they know
where do i spend my nights
when stars take leave
of all the light
you gathered in the lamp
to walk alone
to the temple,
you sat on the steps
waiting for the priest to come and open the doors
so that you can meet your lord
but i don’t wait any longer
i do not want to meet also
i know every time we meet
going back becomes even more painful
do not i have enough pain already?

how can you forget

that i did not wish you in time

will you trust me that you remain in my thoughts

when i pray that we live like the vagabonds

who do not reach any where

but meet off and on

around the fire in cold morning

when you breathe mist

i some smoke

and they together

create a screen

beyond which we do not wish to see

well i leave it to you

to decide what you do
when u collect some marbles
with which we played
and then grew up so much that we threw these at each other
today when i lost patience, i realized that i had washed clean
my slate of the prayer songs i had written and composed
hoping that you will sing and dance
but then storms came in the way
you had to rush back home
and the
sound of my song was overshadowed
by the storm’s fury
at my vain attempt to hurry
and sing,

why are you trying to hang

so many prayer threads around my branches

these are now bending with their weight

will these not break

or bend or just dry up

i have not many branches

left to hand thse slips

let me  be devoid of this faith

leave me alone

so that i do not

have to explain

why so many prayers were hung

at my branches

u do not know

while answering every genuine prayer,

i have answered many not sio genuine prayer too

the guilt of those answers

now require

that i let me roots be dried up

When I took off

To discover the world

That lay beyond the known

Visible and the

Realm of what I could touch

You warned me of all the risks

I had to face

Of falling for tempting eyes

That will look at me

As if to devour

the catch before it figures out

I did not care

and I still do not care

what if Lord Krishna has to be reminded

of all the hearts he broke

in his anxiety to show

what lies ahead

the ladder had broken

You wanted to go to the roof

To see the moon

Before you eat

I took you around the town to find a spot

Where moon will escape

All the walls we had built

To prevent his light to reach us

But we could not find,

Now, you are hungry and

I am repairing the ladder

When the dreams are too tough to follow

And the spurts of yearning have had to swallow

All their pride

And become quiet

Still

Slow and commit to die

The Lord asked,

Why not pursue

Your passion with greater might

Ignore all the pain

All the slight

And be one with the love

That you have always sought

Without caring for what is

And what is ought

she has worshipped you

in faraway lands

with the same devotion

that are the stuff

of which legends are made of

she wiped the steps of your temple

every day

with her scarf which she tied

over hear head

she washed the dirt all around

she cooked the bread and offered

it to birds every day

and filled the water pot

for life from all around to partake in it

you are still thinking

whether to accept her prayers or not

what kind of god you are

have you never been offered true love

did you never experience the stormy caresses

of intimacy

come down,

walk out of your temple

look her in eyes

yes, she is the devotion incarnate

you will nor understand

you have met only those

who offer a little and pray for a lot of rewards

she has asked for nothing

is that why your vanity is challenged!!!

forgive me Mother Kaali

you have never understood me

whenever I came to offer

flowers of white lilies

you looked other way

complaining as if, why did I

not bring coloured flowers

how would i tell you

what did I give you

it was a slice  of  cake

made with deep pain inside

buried in my garden

the manure with which I had grown

these white lilies

please smile Mother

accept these lilies

I have nothing else to offer,

which I can claim has

a part of me