anil gupta's blog

i had built a small house

just the other day after toil

and labour

he helped by lending some stones and she helped

by letting me use their stairs

the friend next door helped in plastering the wall

and even that lady, who fought with me often at water tap

sprinkled water on the newly built walls

ever and ever so often

every thing washed awy but not exactly

all these gestures are imprinted in my heart

ho will flood wsh these memories away

try, if you can, o river unabated.

i do not know
when was the last time
i sat down silently
without a thought in my mind
but then you were always there
so, thoughtlessness
was actually an invitation

and u did not ever need a second call

so, o Kaaali, fill my mind, being and thoughts
with a possibility
which is self destructive

after a bath in the midnight
i feel so light
you wonder why we run away from shadows
we know they can not fight
But that day, it was shadow in your eyes
which we fought about, not knowing who was right
you, who always doubted me,
made fun of my plight
and i like a fool, took fancy for the edges of your toes
as if these were the brims of a cup full of nectar, shining so bright
now you tell me that i mistook the spring for summer
and have missed many stars in your eyes, half asleep in the late night
let us raise toast to that shooting star
which announced the time of looking up,  in the sky lit with it slight
why feel sad, why wait for clouds to rain,
a few tears for the unspoken, unheard and untouched moments
will make you feel light

Kaali

when did you destroy demons last

have you started nurturing the devils

lest they pray and beocme your ardent devotees

adn then you can not but forgive them

when my joy becomes a source of your pain

i am deeply affected

whether one should harvest grass in alawn

only if some one cares for is

going to pass through there

i have often demanded consideration

knwoing that you suffer every time

forgive me this time

I will evolve my needs

and pray that i evaporate these

desires into devotion

let me sublimate these

urges so that thes ebeocme apivot

on which we balance our love and

devotion to

our young ones

and all those who admire our togetherness

Do not look at me from the corners of your eyes

I will not be able to turn my face away

You can and you could always do so,

Is it the complaints that one has

From those one loves

Which cement the wall of trust,

Slowly and slowly

You may not need the comfort of the corner

Where we stood

Silently for hours,

Or of the grave

At which we prayed

For indefinitely elastic moments

I do not know

Whether we need to remember the

Resolutions that we made in support of the cause

That still binds us all

The wailing willows were quiet today

The valleys were sullen

When  the  spring burst into flood

Hail took  a heavy toll of all the unripe apples

The paddy seedlings were

Unwilling to stand up

Like the youth of the valley of chinar

I had to say

If you stand up, I can help you run

But can I make you stand

And the youth nodded

May be there is some truth in it

25 jun, 2007

a moment stood still when,

the hubble bubble was devoid of embers

the intoxicating chamber was singing a lullaby

i did not know

whether to sing

the song you had recited
when we were walking step in step in the garden far away

or remember those

who had died

in vain

is death ever in vain?

why did not we care

all the years when they dared the bullets

of those who had lost the way,

at least that is what some say

jamaney ko ummeedey bantata hun

apni saanso ko andar se kaanta hun

waham na ho jayey mujhko ki koi khaas hun

jis daal par baitha hun, useekokabhi kabhi katata hun

 

din bahut bada tha kal, raat thodi chhoti thi

dard bahut saha tha par, baat bahut chhoti si hi

koi kuchh na kahey, is dar ko nahin main manta hun

jindagi ko ek sachhai ke saath, bas lagatar haankata hun

 

mainey apnie pyar ko, bina hichak  sabhi ke saath banta hai,

kisee se kanjusi na ki, kisee chinta ke bina, apni jadon ko kata hai

sab par aitbaar kiya, kisee ne kya diya, bina iski fikar ke aur pyar banta hun

 

kuchh geeton mein, kuchh suron mein, kuchh saanso mein,

geeley aatey ki tarah,  apney  haath santa hun

 

jamaney ki parwah bagair, apney sapno mein to main kisee ki nahin manta hun

21..07

 

the paddy fields flooded with water

had embraced the transplanted seedlings

soon it will be drained

but I will have to wait till the next rain

when the field will have water

and you will handover the seedlings to me

with abundant caution

that I do not