i am roving in an oscillating boat of pain,

i am roving in an oscillating boat of pain,

waves can lift me in their arms some times

whirlpool of deep sighs can pull me down

lest i get used to being at the top of the waves

far too much, far too long

how do i explain to you, my friend, why does it happen

do not ask me such questions,

i have taken a vow

and help me keep it

kaif: i remember you young boy

leaving your school bag on the way

you came with us

walking and asking questions

after questions

why do people call you crazy

why your every well intentioned action

invites a snide remark

why do not people understand your intentions

pure as they often are

we were worried about your bag

but you were not

your friends will take it away

but then you do not have enough friends

why do not good people have many friends

how will i answer that question,

so i kept quiet, you insisted

and then i said, may be because people like you

are seeing far into future,

friends can not keep pace with your dreams

you  talk things that appear hoax to them

they wil doubt you,

they will despise you

my dear Kaif,

it is your destiny

and i can not tell you any easy path ahead,

but i can assure you that thereare some

who understand your pain

do not ever give up

i can not design a new world

where young people with dreams will

craft new rules of relationships

where faith not doubt will pervade

where hope not despair determine

quoatas of mistakes granted to every inhabitant

be there, Kaif, be there

Mahakaali : kindness can also kill

kindness can also kill

or at least wound

but those scars sustain

the seeds of reciprocity

you have asked me many times,

how do i belong to those who are unknown,

not knowable, and can not reciprocate,

the perfect strangers

and whenever i saw that question through

prism of kindness

i erred

i did not realize

what it meant to sink in the lake

of your kindness

without having to worry about reciprocity

but why should kindness always be reciprocated

so many people do not ever even think of it
and yet we pray for them

do not we

how else

we could maintain sanity

may be i have to meditate still

to figure out,

why do we seek friendship with perfect strangers

they reflect our anonymous future, is not it?

kaali: where is the vessel

where is the vessel

where is the drop

why is it empty

why is it cracked

what happned to all the smiles

you harvested from the faces of children

you met on the way

what happened to the designs you appreciated
on the cowdung cake  heaps

why are you so desolate

why,

mahakali: swift, straight and frank

“not wideness but height, not wisdom but force and strength are her peculiar power. …all her divinity leaps out in a splendour of tempestuous action; she is there for swiftness, for the immediately effective process, the rapid and direct stroke, the frontal assault that carries everything before it……Intolerant of imperfection, she deals roughly with all in man that is unwilling, and she is severe to all that is obstinately ignorant and obscure, her wrath is immediate and dire against treacherey and falsehood, and malignity ill will is smitten at once by her scourge……..The impulses trhat are swift, straight and frank, the movements that are unreserved and absolute, the aspirations that mounts in flame are the motion of Mahakali ( Sri Aurobindo, The Mother, 1928, 2004: 42-43)