anil gupta's blog

when you are quiet

devotees infer that to be a sign

of some thing spectacular  likely to happen soon

but why is it

that i am not agitated

as if,it is a small boon

to be born deaf and dumb

but with a desire to say a lot

my language

your silence

both are meant for

those who can not hear or speak

i have washed your feet

faced your fury

absorbed your smiles and

failed the jury

i am not sad though

i am not worried

so long as you bless the world

i will plough

the lonely furrough

pick up olives
from the garden
and squeeze them
may be the dressing of the oil
will make salad of serenity
more loveable

i could  smell the aroma
of an unripened garden
that you did not care to erase or uproot
when you left that valley
unguarded and uncared
now that i have seen it
i will go back
to the peaks which might still be unassailed
but for how long

———

after a visit to rohtang pass, Lahul spiti

my prayers are

not intended to be answered

yet i hope that you will respond

this vain desire makes us all

aspire for  what we do not deserve

may i hope that

you will bless me

O Kaali

waves are furious

and shores are

tired

yet sea does not give up

let us pray

for wellbeing

of all

those who

deserve your grace

let us keep walking

no matter at what pace

i have loved to be torn

by those who had

faith in me and had borne,

my love and affection, no matter

whethey call me names

or only shatter

their own self respect and desire to be pure

will you bestow your  kindness

and forgive them

who do not know

how i swallowed the poison

when  they lost their sense of proportion

my crime is my indulgence

even when i teach tolerance

May you decide

Kali whether i betrayed

any body’s faith

or dug a hole in my own boat

to make others smile

and remain afloat

in the flood of fury and anger

you still retain the mellowness and  scatter

your kindness and forgivance

may the world understand,

how well one keeps the distance

you have known that i do not play
hide and seek
with stars that light my sky
only now and then,
otherwise i love to live in amavasya
at least you can not see tears in my eyes
and my voice
lures you into the garden of gratitude towards
you
that i
feel all over

you become so benign some times
and are so ruthless
in another  moment
like a pendulum
your mood swings form one extreme to another
thats why, you harness so much energy
from life
tides once still, lose their purpose
you let me float aimlessly
like sea weed
may i fertilize your anger
lest you forget me and learn
to love
the placidity in the air
emanating from reassuring enclosure

when i tried to know Him
He changed so quickly His attitude towards me
i stopped trying
more i seek, more he changes
must be hard on Him
is not it??

why do you always forgive me

why do you lift the boat

about to sink

in the flood of failed desires

why have you repaired the sails

when storms had torn these away

you know that the wind was taking

my boat away from you,

yet you rejuvenated me

again and again

is that how

you punish

your favourite devotees!!!

do i still remain what i was

even after you have declared

the boundaries of what we thought

was accessible as

out of bound

why did you do it

is that the way you make us conscious

of what it means to deny,

delude and deceive ourselves