Kaali 38 garden of Gratitude

you have known that i do not play
hide and seek
with stars that light my sky
only now and then,
otherwise i love to live in amavasya
at least you can not see tears in my eyes
and my voice
lures you into the garden of gratitude towards
you
that i
feel all over

you become so benign some times
and are so ruthless
in another  moment
like a pendulum
your mood swings form one extreme to another
thats why, you harness so much energy
from life
tides once still, lose their purpose
you let me float aimlessly
like sea weed
may i fertilize your anger
lest you forget me and learn
to love
the placidity in the air
emanating from reassuring enclosure

kali35 why do you always forgive me

why do you always forgive me

why do you lift the boat

about to sink

in the flood of failed desires

why have you repaired the sails

when storms had torn these away

you know that the wind was taking

my boat away from you,

yet you rejuvenated me

again and again

is that how

you punish

your favourite devotees!!!

Kali 36 do i still remain what i was

do i still remain what i was

even after you have declared

the boundaries of what we thought

was accessible as

out of bound

why did you do it

is that the way you make us conscious

of what it means to deny,

delude and deceive ourselves

do u know Him

do u know Him
why did u ask
but why should  i know Him
He always plays
the game of dice
loaded with his grace
he tries to be nice

34 kali, you are afraid, are you

why will you feel shy

when asked to defy

the norms of the world

and tell me to die

are you still hoping

that turmoils will take place

some clouds  will move away

and some will  stay,

with all your tears, just in case

do not be silly

do not be silly

move on as the ant did

picking up all her eggs

before the rain,

gather your memories

before these are washed away

in the flood of feelings this  time, so much rain

may not spare

the stains of subtle

simmerings that still take place in your heart

you do not find it possible to say no

you do not find it possible to say no

when i plead for some disdain

you refuse to defy

bur do not just say, go

you  seem to be caught

between the desire to be good

for old times sake

and still

seem worried

about what really is your ought