anil gupta's blog

When I fail
To keep a word I give to myself
I avoid the mirrors
Even the mirrors of souls
Seen through those eyes
Which never tell lies
But that is not an answer
Can I stop failing
Can mirrors start forgiving

Having failed so many
So often
So deeply
Have I retained any right
To demand
Some thing better
But then
only when a
stone gests eroded
Silt and sand get made
Will potter be able to create
If rivers and rains will not destroy
May be some erosion of my self
Is necessary
To fertilise the dreams of others

Untiring quest
Not just in jest
I asked you to walk
Till the end of the edge
Of a tall mountain
Clothed with snow
That seemed in pain
The creepers on all the trees
Had dried early this year
Low rain, long drought
Snow sullen
Will you listen

Beautiful cloud 
So far 
So scattered 
And yet mobile
Carrying  with it 
Wrapped in its moist embrace 
Breeze unfree to leave it 
Just in case 
The clouds were to burst with joy
Leaving the breeze lost and unable to contain
The laughter of lightening 
Who would then see 
A rainbow in your eyes,
a bit coy

“…………….

Turtles have borne the burden 
Of carrying the weight of our legacy
Said an elder
When the spirit dawned 
Through a pregnant lady 
From the sky 
Not knowing where to rest
The sea folded itself up and the earth was extracted 
By the turtles and other sea animals 
To let her rest and give birth to the first child 
Now mothers decide
They only provide 
The signs of sound, Light and life 
Don’t be surprised 
Don’t be furious 
We seem to take long to decide
Whether to let you take pride 
In what you have done to this earth
Ripped it, mined it, stripped it of its forests and the hide 
Of wild life, 
nature and the free moving children
Don’t be silent
Don’t cry either
Just absorb 
The pain of witnessing 
The life slipping through the fingers 
Like a castle of sand swallowed by a haughty wave
Irreverential, obstinate and a bit crazy
Like you are, and will be
Always 

 ………….

A thunder storm
A cloud burst 
Or a swollen throat 
And safety first 
But the tired soles
Silent swollen moles 
When did I feel 
The rock will kneel
The punctured balloon 
A dawn not too soon 
Stirs a chord
Unknowingly you hoard 
All the wrinkles 
Quietly buried twinkles 
Pause a bit
Don’t stand, sit
Take deep breath
Don’t offer a flower Heath 
The journey has not ended 
But the resolve of a saint on the mountain
Has already bended 
……………

An autumn before dawn
All the Leaves forlorn
You ask me to pick up 
A beautiful leaf 
And I can’t find one that 
Has not had her own radiance 
Beyond measure 
And then to tell those leaves 
That one is better than the rest 
How cold I do that 
How will I atone for the wrinkles that 
My judgment will impose 
On them, unasked 
I walk slowly 
Taking care not to crush 
Any yearning unfolded 

And yet I have Been faulted 
For not disappointing each leaf
Still beautiful like the rays 
Of a shy sun 
Just rising on the horizon
With unhinged reflections in the Sea 
How do I tell 
Which ray 
Has better reflection
Which wave is more intimate 
Which leaf has a destiny 
That has escaped your imagination
How do I tell 

,…”…………….

Don’t ever call me alone
A long time ago
My sole has gone 
Not IN AN abyss of nothingness 
Why do you want 
To hear just, yes
I have nothing to give 
Any more
And yet you wait
For Autumn turning into spring 
As if smiles will pass through the sieve 
And we can laugh about 
As if nothing happened
When bark of a tree could shout
Don’t ever call me alone
A long time ago
My soul has gone, 
Has gone
Gone
Gone

Gone
Gone

Gooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Beautiful cloud 
So far 
So scattered 
And yet mobile
Carrying  with it 
Wrapped in its moist embrace 
Breeze unfree to leave it 
Just in case 
The clouds were to burst with joy
Leaving the breeze lost and unable to contain
The laughter of lightening 
Who would then see 
A rainbow in your eyes,
a bit coy

maple leaf, tell me,
how do i search the most beautiful one
when i
asked a wrinkled yellow one
she said ask purple one
when i talked to her,
she said, i have lived my life
ask green one and
each one referred me to the other
finally, i paused and laughed
wasnt my search in vain
how could any leaf be more beautiful than other,
what is beauty, after all

i collected all the leaves
i talked to and they will adorn
my wall, may be your wall
to remind us
of the futility of our search

while touching a fibre
torn from a worn out soul
you have stirred the nest
of cuckoo
where will she go now
who will it call now
why not let it lie low
who knows,
when will the sun
of its sky glow

maple leaves
broken sieve
filtered coffee
a shadow peeved
why do i still heave
a sigh of relief
as if,
you have questioned
an ardent belief

just be there,
for a while
and then i will sleep
losing track of the unkept promises
have not slept for long
dont comfort me
i have lost the key to dreamland
the windows though are open
some dreams escape
the smoky room
will you chase them or
wait
till the room gets burnt
and dreams get liberated

Walking through the rain
Narrow lane
Dimly lit windows
Even the steps of a stair
To the temple
Barely visible
I still climb
Find the door locked
But knock, absentmindedly
As if god will open its doors for me
But then I return
And walk back
This time soaked
In not just rain
But also the darkness
Inside, outside
Everywhere