anil gupta's blog

you will insist
on having your way
it does not matter
what happens to the sprouts
that wither on the way
or the tender vines lose their support
the trees hosting their hopes
are denied nourishment
why should you have your way
why should all flowers
lose their seeds
why should all clouds decide to fly away
without raining in my garden
gardner has cleaned all the dried leaves
and the lawn seems worth walking
but the paths are strewn with
expectations
of meeting no resistance
by wind, trees, clouds, sprouts, vines

O kaali

will you let the river
flood my garden
and immerse all the idols
i sculpted
from the clay of the deep pond
outside your temple
they all looked alike
i did not want to keep them
and you will not oblige me
will not flood my garden
why should u deny me
the right of submersing all my creations
in the overflowing rover

you are worried that wayward waves
will scatter them outside your temple
and then people may start
using them to pray for you

Maa Kali: will you at least once,
pierce your sword through me?

take out all the darkness in my heart
and let all the blood drain
which has been nourished by
my memories
unauthorized by the guard
you had appointed
outside your temple
he was worried that
if i inhale all the aroma
of the flowers offered at your feet
i might lose my way

he did not let me manure
my memories
but then all the leaves
fallen from a tree
i had planted
to meditate
have nourished them
nothing happens any more, as i wish
is this the way you show your love
O Ma kaali

O Ma Kaali:

will you again forgive me?

dont,
this way, you will give me license
to forget what i should remember,
and remember
what i should forget,

there were two roads
one turning left and
the other ending in a bush,
after a while,
i did not want to decide
if the road should make a difference
to the journey
the leaves dried and fallen on the ground
near the bush
drew me closer
and the path ended but the journey began
this time, i will not
let the entropy of my inner self
resolve
how far will i sow the seeds of flowery shrubs
i will just walk, and whenever the
careless aroma
arrests my will
i will stop
and smile
laugh and
then let the wrinkles on my forehead erode

Tender be the touch
You have said so often
But having broken stones
Peeled the bark
And cut the wood
May be strikes are harder
Unwittingly often
How do I soften my touch
May be by forgetting
That I do
Just being there
May be enough

When I fail
To keep a word I give to myself
I avoid the mirrors
Even the mirrors of souls
Seen through those eyes
Which never tell lies
But that is not an answer
Can I stop failing
Can mirrors start forgiving

Having failed so many
So often
So deeply
Have I retained any right
To demand
Some thing better
But then
only when a
stone gests eroded
Silt and sand get made
Will potter be able to create
If rivers and rains will not destroy
May be some erosion of my self
Is necessary
To fertilise the dreams of others

Untiring quest
Not just in jest
I asked you to walk
Till the end of the edge
Of a tall mountain
Clothed with snow
That seemed in pain
The creepers on all the trees
Had dried early this year
Low rain, long drought
Snow sullen
Will you listen

Beautiful cloud 
So far 
So scattered 
And yet mobile
Carrying  with it 
Wrapped in its moist embrace 
Breeze unfree to leave it 
Just in case 
The clouds were to burst with joy
Leaving the breeze lost and unable to contain
The laughter of lightening 
Who would then see 
A rainbow in your eyes,
a bit coy

“…………….

Turtles have borne the burden 
Of carrying the weight of our legacy
Said an elder
When the spirit dawned 
Through a pregnant lady 
From the sky 
Not knowing where to rest
The sea folded itself up and the earth was extracted 
By the turtles and other sea animals 
To let her rest and give birth to the first child 
Now mothers decide
They only provide 
The signs of sound, Light and life 
Don’t be surprised 
Don’t be furious 
We seem to take long to decide
Whether to let you take pride 
In what you have done to this earth
Ripped it, mined it, stripped it of its forests and the hide 
Of wild life, 
nature and the free moving children
Don’t be silent
Don’t cry either
Just absorb 
The pain of witnessing 
The life slipping through the fingers 
Like a castle of sand swallowed by a haughty wave
Irreverential, obstinate and a bit crazy
Like you are, and will be
Always 

 ………….

A thunder storm
A cloud burst 
Or a swollen throat 
And safety first 
But the tired soles
Silent swollen moles 
When did I feel 
The rock will kneel
The punctured balloon 
A dawn not too soon 
Stirs a chord
Unknowingly you hoard 
All the wrinkles 
Quietly buried twinkles 
Pause a bit
Don’t stand, sit
Take deep breath
Don’t offer a flower Heath 
The journey has not ended 
But the resolve of a saint on the mountain
Has already bended 
……………

An autumn before dawn
All the Leaves forlorn
You ask me to pick up 
A beautiful leaf 
And I can’t find one that 
Has not had her own radiance 
Beyond measure 
And then to tell those leaves 
That one is better than the rest 
How cold I do that 
How will I atone for the wrinkles that 
My judgment will impose 
On them, unasked 
I walk slowly 
Taking care not to crush 
Any yearning unfolded 

And yet I have Been faulted 
For not disappointing each leaf
Still beautiful like the rays 
Of a shy sun 
Just rising on the horizon
With unhinged reflections in the Sea 
How do I tell 
Which ray 
Has better reflection
Which wave is more intimate 
Which leaf has a destiny 
That has escaped your imagination
How do I tell 

,…”…………….

Don’t ever call me alone
A long time ago
My sole has gone 
Not IN AN abyss of nothingness 
Why do you want 
To hear just, yes
I have nothing to give 
Any more
And yet you wait
For Autumn turning into spring 
As if smiles will pass through the sieve 
And we can laugh about 
As if nothing happened
When bark of a tree could shout
Don’t ever call me alone
A long time ago
My soul has gone, 
Has gone
Gone
Gone

Gone
Gone

Gooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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