anil gupta's blog

filtered smiles
dissipated clouds
dont try to be nice
the truth must be spoken
the torn corners of a book
are still there,
with all the pages intact
some pages have no more
the text i wrote,
ink has faded
but has it meant
the meanings have also evaporated,
dont know
the fissures in faint smiles
are unable to confess
what is writ so large
on the sky
in which we flew
like unhinged birds
that day

Release
Asked the germ,
Coats loosened their embrace
And let the germ go
Till it grew enough to bear more seeds
Every time
Hopes are sown
The dust gathers imprints
Of decay and despair
Of the envelops in which
Moist eyes of a tall tree
Wraps memories
Of its promises of nurturing
All its seeds with the same love
Even if some never germinated
Now you declare release
Of course you must grow beyond
The confines of coats of seeds
Shawls of serenity
That can only give warmth when tied closely
But release you must have
Else elephants will not cross
Through the narrow corridor
That’s left in the denuded forest
To escape from the
Fire
That has been raging
Ever since you sought release
From the confines of confidence
That dreams mattered
Long term dreams of making a difference
Mattered
But they still mean a lot to me
And will always do
SO what if few wrinkles
Adorn the scarf
That I had offered to maa kaali
Who has for some time
Not spoken to me
But dares me
All the time
To renounce and release
All the desires
And bonds of expectations
I had somehow begun to have
From myself
But no more
No more
All the smoke
Of unburnt desires
Will vanish
Tears from our eyes will wash
All stains of smog
That covered our eyes
So long
No more
No more
Go away
O warmth of the fire
In the cold night
I don’t need you
Because I have no more seeds left to
Germinate
And be released from
The expectations
Of boundless space
Left uncovered now
Between your sky
And my deeply dug resting place

Let the journey to discover
Newer domains
Of doubtless faith
Dissolved hazy gaze
Of a dreamer
And and a quiet requiem
Of a creeper
Who had climbed a dry tree
To envelop it with its warm
Leaves till
The spring let it sprout
On its own,
But now the
spring is not awaited
You can climb on another tree
And carry all the assurances
By breaking the twigs
From which you may find
Uncoiling a bit difficult
Break those branches
Take these away
Be free
You are released
From all the bonds
The beliefs of a bird
Wove into a small nest
A very small nest

Subah ki dheemi droop mien
Mila hai ek anishchit Ashwasan
Agar hawa ko shaq hua
Aur Kisee aandhi ko bhram hua
To phir nahin khologey Baal
Tum rahogey door wahin
Thum gaya tha kal jahan kaal
Aur neechi nighayen kar
Gujar jaaney ka palogey KHyal
Tum nahin khologey Baal

Chooney ki lab se jab koshish na ho
Kisee khwahish ki koi Manjil na ho
Aisey mien Milna phir Kahin
Shayad rahega rath wahin
Paar tum phir kar hi Lena
Kya rukega veg phir
Kis lehar ko bun kar dubara
Ghonsla Phir na banana
Door jaana Bahut door jaana
Lautney ka dhoondana mat
phir koi adhoora bahana
Door jaana door jaana

Aatmsaat kar Tumney kaha tha,
Mujhey Kahin dhuan banana
Ghul jaun sarey khwabo mien tumharey
Aisa koi tum chakra chalana
Lekin kahan tum Jeet payey
Apni ungadhi kavitaon mien Tumney
Jaaney kitney Swapn jagayey
Aaon tumhey aazad kar dun
Tumhey tumharey Pankh de dun
Ud jao jao, ab Kahin tum
Tumhey tumhara Aakash de dun
Mat bhramit ho hichkichana
Na phir kisee chattan ko
Apney aasuon se pighlana
Door jaana door jaana
Basant ke rango se tum ab
Nayi holi mañana
Nit nayey swapno ki ab tum
Aangan mien khoob paudh Lagana
Door jaana door jaana,
Jason mien is puraaney ped ki
Ab na phir paani Lagana
Door jaana door jaana

fractured light
has no license to heal
the light has been released
from the cage
and it is time it travels
to far off stars
and
the blue sky
dont lose a moment any more
grab all the grace
time offers to
forget the fractured light
which any way
has no license to heal

anil

i will stand by the window
and wait
light is still there
colours are bright
sounds loud
dance is about to begin
let us go

a meaningless hope
a vain walk
nothing is left
to settle
sediments are unable
to persuade the banks
of a river to collaborate
it has flown away
now
dry bed is being dug
sand is being carried far away
to build a grave
of all the lost smiles
flower vase is still there
where you kept
just that flowers have dried
but they still look nice
i plan to keep them that way

i understand
all the spontaneity
all the selfless shower
of grace and love
of wrinkle free mornings
and fear free dawns
i understand
the need for limitless bond
and a desire to live in the moment
dancing elephants
buried small ants
and a whisper
that is no more heard
i understand