anil gupta's blog

the change that i forgot to keep track of, is on us,

the storm has passed

but when you were standing in the doorway

i was wondering

if it is like the rain that occures in spurts

some times on , some times off, but the drizzle continues

i am not wet, though it rained whole night

i was standing under the tree

which has sheltered me always

every time when

i have needed the shade,

will the dance of dark gazes on the floor of the house of hopes stop me

will your calls for returning to the same graveyard of a  sufi saint persuade me

will i ask again what i have avoided all these years,

the need to paint, write songs and dance on the floor

ruptured by the joyful waves

and the gazes of the eyes that have seen through me all, always

did i do wrong

by withholding what i needed to tell

so long as  it was done and done well,

and who was harmed by my action today

will it have harmed some one  tomorrow

if unchecked,

could i have done some thing

which would have harmed me

who will give me answers to these questions

you quote Gita to say, vivek ( self reflection) and sannidhya( company)

but my friends tell me i did no wrong

and my conscience says too that i was right

who would then  decide what is the right way

have others who followed this  path put others into trouble

will this have put me also in trouble

will i avoid only actions which put me into trouble

or also those which affect others

either in deed or morality,

how can a deed be right and still be immoral

may be when the right  means  get in the way of right ends?

am i a creeper twining around the trunk

of a tree

that has shed some leaves

but still has some sprouts

which are looking around

for some signs of hope

of growing  around

to shade the new seedlings

beneath

on the muddy ground

in which you   walked some time ago,

kya unka adhikan kuchh bada tha

ya mera saya ab dhup mein kuchh garm sa hua tha

nischal ho, isliyey hi kya
udwalit honey par bhi shaant ho
kahin kuchh honey wala hai,
dhara ka beej jheel ke pet se ugega
kisee pyale mein neer,
bharey nayano  se girega
uski ki bhap se kisee ka hoth nahin jalega
pee jao, wish pee jao
aawaj aayi
ab koi is wish se vyarth hi nahin marega
kuchh badalega
kuch badla hai
jo shaant hai, uske bheetar ka jwalamukhi
ab duayen ban bahega
dhara ka beej
jheel ke pet se ugega

could the curtains hold all the pain

that was inflicted on those

who reveled in life

only not knowing, when will it end

when will they be slain

today we remember them

and shed tears

but the tragedy is not about who is alive

and who is dead

but the fact that justice seems to elude

many whose hurts seem to fuel

the carnage insane

fragmented needs, scattered seeds, where are you, o Kaali!

whose gardens you will destroy next

whose curtains will you put on fire next

when will your anger be quenched

whose scarifce will measure up to your quest

are you just craving for the eternal  attention

of all those who love you

and worship you

may be not, you are just a bit tired

you have found out the way

to some one’s yearning and eyes

it passes through a volcano of desires

that do not belong to this world

and are not so high

in your esteem so far

one can wait

through the prism of faith

when rainbows seem fragile

you hold to the tendril of a nervous gate

of a swan

on the bridge

over a river that is

not too steady

because glacials have melted

but the snow still covers many slopes

come and ski with me

donot worry about the cervices in the rocks

who cares

if the snow is not faithful

when rivers have dried

dont lose your way, my friend

there are lot of turns

and also some bend

in this road of life

that you have chosen with strife

now do not regret what

has beocme of your life

move, rise and stand up

again

walk steadily

and assail all the peaks

that you thought were meant

just for aside,

you have got to be

what you always have been