anil gupta's blog

o shiv, mujhey itna adheer kyun kiya
kyun mujhey itna senha diya
vish diya mujhey sara ka sara
lekin phir jeevan dan dekar amar kiya
yeh kaisa ashirwad diya, shiv tumney
shiv tumney inta kyun sneha diya

may be, the tether of the teasing slant is still connected
the roost are not dry yet
the slimy skin of tadpole is still wet
though there is drought all around
dont ask, why
the address is unknown
why the name plate is torn away
why the street ends in a dead end
because the last house has broken down
debris will not be cleaned
the creepers growing on it will not bloom’
but i will still dig a grave
and bury the fallen stars
from our sky
lest they are picked by birds to sow stars
in your sky
any sky
on sly

when did i say enough
did i ask, did i stop
or did i complain
but then is it the reason
i am feeling the way i am

aaj thode udaseen se they tum
kuchh khaali khaali se aawaj thi
bhari bhari aankhey lagi
kahin kisee patjhar ki khushboo
to tumhey aangan mein lagey
foolon ki sugandh se takra to nahin gayi
shayd ab vasant halkey se aaya
tumhey dwarey kai khushiyn=an laya
aur badley mein
saari ummmedey
tang gaya
bahar ek keel par
jis ko abhi haal hi mein gadha tha
lekin hawaon ne un ummeedon ko bikhra sa diya hai,
tumhey shayad apney hi andar basa liya hai

dont ever ask why did not i ask,
for a reprieve
when you were around
and i was locked far away
in my fights with my instincts

when you emptied my vessel
and asked me to collect dew drops
if i had to find a way to
deal with tears
i could not say,
you gather all the smiles
from my garden and
evaporate the sugar solutions sprayed
in your vessel
may be the crystal so formed
will refract some light
and let you see, feel, and may be
delve into the crucible of pain

why do we seem to like
quicker turnaround of our feelings
why can not long wait for reciprocity
if at all
seem as probable
desirable and lovable
has the tire of patience been punctured

when you dont say
any thing for long
i assume that you are tense
but why
why could not you be so happy that
silence becomes imperative,

when transitions are transparent
the meanings are not hard to search
nor music too loud to hear
the subtleties of silences are felt
just as teh dropping of autumn leaves
does not cause despair
now that i am standing on threshold of the new year
i hope miracles will continue to happen
the young voice of future will come our way
his mother will not sway
his moods in the disappointing directions
and the clouds will keep
hot sunlight away

at least soem transitions are opaque, even if
temporarily

i have climbed many mountains
before
and will climb them again
but why is that the descent
into the valley of volition appears so hard
responsibility?
morality of meanings
or just the square root of
silence