anil gupta's blog

well, if i  do not forgive myself, how will i live
why shall i say, give , just give
a few more moments of company in this hour
when i am desolate, and totally without any power
you will not understand, and go away,
like ever before
but what will i do, stay still
and remain, as ever before, so sure

i did not want the curtains,

you said, you wanted these,

because my transparency

put unnecessarily reflection on others,

who wanted to keep their windows closed,,

now that my curtains are torn

what should i do

reassure every one that i am not

repairing these because i do not want to

or just ignore and hang another one

1002  Kaaali 75:   I will not pray

The gardener made a beautiful garland

And offered to me

So that I could please you

I laughed and walked away

Why should I please you

If you have forgotten

Your duties

Should I forget mine

I will not pray

Nor will I seek any thing

I will just stay there

Cleaning the path of all the pebbles

So that those who come to your door

1001  Kaaali 74: She will  not let you leave the shores

Whenever hatred emerges

In your heart

You can be sure that

Kaali’s grace has abandoned you

She will  not let you leave the shores

Of the lake of kindness

In which one can float so long as

1000 Kaali 73

The lotus seeds have been stored for years

Do not worry

When no body comes to pray at your door

These seeds will be sown

On the bank of lake

Where people built your temple

And lotus will bloom again, the same lotus flower

That was offered

When sun was young and the

Earth was still cooling

Down from all the fire you had spitted

At its inability to swallow the fire

999 Kaaali 71 What kind of faith they have then

the stirrings in the glass

will not matter any more

I have brewed the wine So strong

That you will have to partake it

And lose your sense of strong

Temper

Demons will need to be forgiven

So that a little angel

Can play with them

In heaven

And you will have to pardon the

Saints

Who worship you when

They should just be emptying

themselves of all hopes,

I pity those souls

Who seek to be blessed

Have they no sense of shame

What kind of faith they have

998 Kaaali 70 my way of getting even with you

I have bowed before your temple

Though I had no faith in your idols

You asked me why did I do it

And I thought, you will know

This was my way of getting even with you

More you dispossess me of the hopes

More I will pray and wish

You bestow your blessings

On all those who worship you

With deep faith

I will keep hoping that the blessed souls

Will scatter some surplus

My way

997  I will try to heal the hurt falcon

Will you split all the wood

We collected yesterday

Winter is at hand

And fire will have to be lit every day

When I am not around

You may need to remind the

Stove that it has a promise to keep

No matter how much snow falls outside,

It must keep you warm

I will  gather the dried  twigs

I will try to heal the hurt falcon

So that it recovers and picks all

The eggs of the mynah

That we so fondly fed

Every day outside our house

When we lived together

Now,  I am the

ash

in extinguished hearth

spread me in the garden, so that trees grow

tall, and you get enough wood

to keep you warm

in chilly night when

all memories have been pasted on the walls

of the hearth

to avoid losing the warmth