When the dreams are too tough to follow

When the dreams are too tough to follow

And the spurts of yearning have had to swallow

All their pride

And become quiet

Still

Slow and commit to die

The Lord asked,

Why not pursue

Your passion with greater might

Ignore all the pain

All the slight

And be one with the love

That you have always sought

Without caring for what is

And what is ought

May 8, 2007

is that why your vanity is challenged!!!

she has worshipped you

in faraway lands

with the same devotion

that are the stuff

of which legends are made of

she wiped the steps of your temple

every day

with her scarf which she tied

over hear head

she washed the dirt all around

she cooked the bread and offered

it to birds every day

and filled the water pot

for life from all around to partake in it

you are still thinking

whether to accept her prayers or not

what kind of god you are

have you never been offered true love

did you never experience the stormy caresses

of intimacy

come down,

walk out of your temple

look her in eyes

yes, she is the devotion incarnate

you will nor understand

you have met only those

who offer a little and pray for a lot of rewards

she has asked for nothing

is that why your vanity is challenged!!!

flowers of white lilies

forgive me Mother Kaali

you have never understood me

whenever I came to offer

flowers of white lilies

you looked other way

complaining as if, why did I

not bring coloured flowers

how would i tell you

what did I give you

it was a slice  of  cake

made with deep pain inside

buried in my garden

the manure with which I had grown

these white lilies

please smile Mother

accept these lilies

I have nothing else to offer,

which I can claim has

a part of me

intimate self of mine

undried tears of a devotee

undried tears of a devotee

when the drains of tears got filled

and started overflowing

the devotee could not wait any longer

to empty herself at the altar of

your feet

but you did not even look at her

you walked away

like

a whiff of a moist breeze

wanting to wipe the dry dust

from the unused canvas

that she had not painted for years

waiting for inspiration

that was tapped in some dreams

which will never unfold

lest your resolve

give way

and you decide to accept her

prayers

may 9, 2007

GUHA ON jP, iNDRA ON guha, anil on Guha and JP and charu majumdar

i agree with part of what Indra (see quote from his blog http://www.drishtikona.com and ram guha’s book, below, which also appeared in Patna Times ) say about JP. He was in idealist, it does not matter if the movement he started was captured by self opiniated people like Morarji and lalu.

“””Ramachandra Guha, the writer of ‘India After Gandhi: The History of the World’s Largest Democracy’ has made some reference about JP. In the interview published in Outlook, May 7, 2007, he is quoted to say, ‘Mrs Gandhi had the instruments of state at her command and because she grossly abused them through the Emergency, she would be the greater culprit. But one can’t let JP off the hook either. One placed too much faith in the state, and the other placed too little faith in the state and in representative institutions. One said I am Parliament, I am India, the other said disband Parliament. I’ve tried to provide a psycho-social interpretation of why JP acted the way he did. I’ve talked about the fact that he was growing old, his wife had died, he wanted to recapture the youthful revolutionary impulses that he once had, he felt his mortality was in question and India had to be transformed before he went. I tried to understand why a man who abjured radical politics for 30 years to become a social worker, had become a street agitator. I also quote other mistakes. These are contemporary criticisms – I mention a man called RR Patil, an ICS officer, a friend of JP’s, who visits Bihar, studies the movement, and says, the genie is out of the bottle, and you can’t control it. You may have unleashed forces that will destroy institutions. There were other critics, like Acharya Ramamurthi, he talks about the RSS taking over the movement. JP was naïve, he was irresponsible, and of course Indira Gandhi over-reacted.’

M K Gandhi created a lot of leaders, many of whom of were as good as Nehru, if not better. After him, every body sawllowed leaders, nipped them in the bud. Mrs Gandhi for whom i have admiration when it comes to fight US influence in pre 1980 era( or respect Sscience and Technology leaders, one constituency she really adored), did not let any strong leader to survive even for a day. Her followers have carried on the tradition. JP after Gandhi was only leader who spawned a large number of leaders who immersed themselves in social protest discontinuing their education, in the case of many youth. Only other movement which has achived that, is naxalite movement and i admire them for their ability to be naive, if not romantic always. After all in 172 districts, indian state has been tamed by them, and how else one protests against internal colonialism?
I do not mind being naive. I think Guha errs when he considers naivette a crime and indolence( by implication), perhaps a lesser evil. He would perhaps suggest that if one does not have a proper strategy, one should not stir a finger. I will always support any one who stirs the pool, stagnating or stinking, even if he does not have capacity or vision to cleanse it completely. The stirrings at grassroots are what eventually create a tide, which sweeps the socities to a newer level of asiration, expectation.

I think Guha errs when he says Jp was irresponsible. I am surprised at his conclusion,because he has studied social and ecological movements, according to him, may i suggest that Charu mAjumdar will be a criminal.

what an irony, what a time we are living in. Let me recall a line of dinkar ( who is any way recalled by Indra, who i have never met but would like to meet after this):

“Pap ka bhagi nahin hai keval vyagh, jo tasatha hai, samaya likhega unka bhi apradh”

In 1992, Shri Joshi( ?)editor of Jan Satta had put these lines on the front page bottom full length, because lot of people kept quiet and claimed that the communal violence was an aberration, an exception, a reaction, as it happened in 1984.

No, Jp was wrong on many other accounts like all of us, but he was right in triggering the movement for total revolution. His failure lay in the fact that he did not anticipate that his kidneys will be damaged by the state and that many in whom he put trust, would go astray.

If one counts the number of magazines which came out after emergency( it is another issue, why have so many been closed down lately, particularly in Hindi), one would realize what kind of asiprational gin he had unleashed. The democracy will always remain indebted to him.

It is strange that lallu and many others have begun to defend emergency and consequent repression in our society.

I worked in UP in 1975-1977 and have known first hand what emergency was about. i did not succumb and feel quite happy about this small achievement. But then JP was romantic and i will any time prefer to be romantic rather than a patient strategist who will plot, plan, and prescribe but not indulge.

anil
anilgb@gmail.com

why do tears pay toll tax at the gate of love

why do tears pay toll tax at the gate of love

why should smiles  be pasted

on all the places on wall
where plaster has been peeled off

by the leaking moisture

when the mason was building this house

he was not asked to make imperviosu walls

he left some spaces for moist air to come in

but did he know

that tears will have pay toll tax

to enter the same house today

1030 I have been betrayed by you Mother

I have been betrayed by you Mother

When you compromised

You threatened me

And bribed me when it suited you

But after all, you only gave me the strength

To fight, and stand up

For those who needed me

And I will always stand up for those

Who will not be afraid

Of privileges wrapping them

And sweeping all memories of

The surrender

Of valiant armies of  vanity and valour

In defense of the powerful

Who could give away

All that mattered so that

Hunger of the rich was

Shamed a bit

1029 I have been lost Many times in the mist at the top

I have been lost

Many times in the mist at the top

Of the mountain and lost my way

But then old pathways

To the deepest recess of

Silent valleys

Of time and tide

Help me find my way

But I d not ever get back to

Where I lost my way

Can we never get back

And start our lost journeys afresh

Why should search for truth

Be so elusive

Why should intimacy threaten

The universality of love

Why should passion be devoid of duty

And how can persistence be without purpose

1027 To discover the grace with in you

To discover the grace with in you

You can do what you wish

And pray at any temple or mosque

Only way you will enter this city

Of admonition

Is when you will

“Combine

Love and duty

To discover the grace with in you[1]”

I have seen icons of power falling down

I have seen idols of love melting away

In the heat of scorn and stymied

Sulking anger

But then what good is it to love

If we can not swallow

The pride of being indifferent

Towards the sensitive notes of music

Sung by the  wayside bards

Devoted as they are

To please any body who will care

Without favour and without any snare

1026 Aroma of a slowly extinguishing incense stick

Aroma of a slowly extinguishing incense stick

I never claimed

I was extraordinary mind

And yet my instincts were of a kind

That could sense the advancing storms

And the monsoon winds

From miles before their time,

You thought I could protect you

But then I could not

Why do you feel lost

When I am gone away like the

Aroma of a slowly extinguishing incense stick

Why do you keep peeling bamboo

Sticks

To make more such incense sticks

Knowing that their aroma will not

Let you leave the shores

Of a river, eternal as it is

Never will it dry

No matter however so much you cry